I FEEL SO CLOSE TO YOU RIGHT NOW

You joined a photography competition which made me quite surprised since I never know that you're interested in that kind of thing. You showed me pictures of objects you had taken as the result of your works which are mostly posters drawn on the wall that you found in the borders of the streets. Though they ain't real but I told you that they're just superb remarkable. However, photo I love the most is that the picture of you in the top of lighthouse wearing your square-pattern blue shirt. You were so adorable.

I acted like crazy and moved around the city to find the objects you took so that I could see it for real. I went until tip of the town but I couldn't find it. Hopeless.

Until a time you told me that you won the competition. You won a photography competition. Well, yeah unbelievable. You asked me to go with you but still I didn't know where would you bring me.

You leaded me to take a walk along the street behind campus together with couples of your friends from Art Education Department which had helped you during the competition.You walked in front of me, behind me and sometimes beside me. I still could see how wet your shirt because we had taken a walk for quite far in up and down track. Breaking the night and silence under the dark sky and hot weather. I saw your wet curly hair and felt your slow steps.

And here we go, we were up in the end of the street. I saw a wide yard under construction where almost all of the building had been destroyed, but there was still a wall standing sturdy. And there was it, your object drawn in that wall. Such a dramatic object, eh?

Not far from that place I could see that white lighthouse. Could you believe that? A lighthouse found in the middle of the streets instead of in the sea front. Yeah you know, how could that thing happen.

How could I be so stupid had been moving around looking for that place meanwhile it was there, behind our college. It stood so handsomely there, with fading white color.

Your friends from Art Ed surprisingly greeted me and knew my names. They said that they had read my posting about the last art exhibition and I was touched knowing them read my blog. The welcomed me so warmly. Since they knew that you won the games, they all asked you to treat them.

I didn't know but I was so happy at that time, both because I stayed around you and overwhelmed by they guys warm milieu. Yeah I was so happy, yet nervous to be around you because I also, at the same time, kept thinking how can we meet again while I had committed to my self to let you out and stay away from you.

I was talking so much with your friends, not you, since I was so in full effort to kill my anxiety. You jumped suddenly in our round to show me that you were still around there.

And there you are, with that superb in-debatable innocent yet cute face, staring me with those dazzling and melancholy eyes, then for the second time you spelled me. My world suddenly turned around and got me dizzy. I woke up.

It was so sad to see you disappeared suddenly, so I tried to close my eyes again, recalling the last scene when I saw your eyes. I thought I wanted to cry.

When I write this I still remember every single little piece scene of you. I still have all those feeling when you came to me this evening. Healing my tiredness and whispering those hopes through the way you stare at me. Those eyes, I can't handle it no more.

Oh geek, how can I stop if you keep finding the door and coming even to my dreams. Seems like 24 hours are not enough. How can I move if you ruin all things.

I don't give a damn on inception thingies, what I know is that you come suddenly without permission. I hate how you do it but I feel sick of my self who keep falling for that gaze.

I hate to say this, but yeah I think this dream makes me even miss you more.

Ah here I want to give a song (yeah if wanna still do a little piece of things that we used to do). A song by an indie band from British named Daughter entitled Candles. Take your attention to those beautiful lyrics ya, it's quite representing I suppose~

Candles by Daughter (ps: click so you could see the video :) )

That boy take me away into the night
Out of the hum of the street lights and into a forest
I'll do whatever you say to me in the dark
Scared I'll be torn apart by a wolf in mask
Of a familiar name on a birthday card

Blow out all the candles
Blow out all the candles
"You're too old to be so shy"
He says to me so I stay the night

Just a young heart confusing my mind
But we're both in silence
Wide-eyed, both in silence
Wide-eyed, like we're in a crime scene

Well, I have brittle bones it seems
I bite my tongue and I torch my dreams
Have a little voice to speak with
And a mind of thoughts and secrecy

Things cannot be reversed
We learn from the times that we are cursed
Things cannot be reversed
Learn from the ones we fear the worst
And learn from the ones we hate the most how to

Blow out all the candles
Blow out all the candles
"You're too old to be so shy"
He says to me so I stay the night

Just a young heart confusing my mind
But we're both in silence
Wide-eyed, both in silence
Wide-eyed

'Cause we both know
I'll never be your lover
I only bring the heat
Company under cover
Filling space in your sheets

Well, I'll never be a lover
I only bring the heat
Company under cover
Filling space in your sheets
In your sheets

So, please just blow out all the candles
Blow out all the candles
"You're too old to be so shy,"
He says to me so I stay the night

It's just a young heart confusing my mind
But we're both in silence
Wide-eyed, both in silence
Wide-eyed, like we're in a crime scene

Kisses and Hugs - Anggra